whirlwind
Saturday, February 15, 201410:24 PM
Oh wow we're already a month and a half into 2014!
Sometimes when I'm alone on the bus or walking or whatever, a sudden thought would strike me and I'd hurry to write it down so I wouldn't forget. Unfortunately, it seems like many of these musings end up as sad abandoned notes on my phone :(
Whenever I try to write these days, the right words and phrases just seem so out of reach...that really, really scares me because writing has always been my preferred outlet for self-expression, as compared to talking. Like, writing things out makes them easier to comprehend, but now everything is just a jumbled mess in my brain and it's driving me crazy.
Still, work has been making me talk more than I ever have before, so I guess maybe the balance has just tilted a little.
Life so far has been very much work-oriented, which isn't exactly surprising for a 9-5 job I guess! The first month was pretty much just training, like being back in JC tutorials. To be honest, having to make new friends and go through all the social rituals wasn't what I expected and wanted initially-I had assumed that I would be the only young person in the office. But now, I'm just really glad that I was wrong. Most of my coworkers are all really funny and interesting, plus it's probably a good thing to get to know different people after being in IP for 6 years!
Speaking of which, work really opened my eyes to quite a few things...
1. My world is shamefully small.
Since Secondary One, my friends all come from similar backgrounds and I've only ever known a certain lifestyle, a certain way of life progression. It never really occurred to me how other people of different ages and backgrounds could have such vastly different perspectives and experiences from my own. Not everyone goes the usual track of sec sch-->JC/poly-->uni-->work, but many of them are still working hard in their own way to build the life that they want for themselves. I am beginning to better understand the reality that for many people, a shitty job is a means to an end, not an end in itself. Nobody in a shitty job actually wants to be in that shitty job forever...so judging people based on their career choices is just a really bad idea.
2. Unfortunately, people are judgmental by nature.
I was caught off-guard by how prejudice is everywhere in society. Singaporeans are always complaining about elitism; well, I find that it works both ways. People judge you ever so quickly based on your academic background...you'd think that stereotyping would be less prevalent out of school, but I guess it's just commonplace wherever you go. The first few weeks of work really showed how important first impressions can be and how we tend to put people into little boxes of judgement, whether consciously or not :/
3. Making mistakes really sucks, but it also makes you want to do better next time.
Ever since training ended and official work begun, I've found myself floundering like a lost sheep. There are so many things I don't know and have to clarify that I feel like all those years of mugging were for naught. At this point, whenever I make mistakes, I'd end up inconveniencing my seniors who have to help me clear up the trouble because I'm a newbie. Mistakes can also mean more trouble for the customer I'm supposed to be helping instead...This feeling of dependency and helplessness is so frustrating, but it also makes me want to do a better job in future.
(Then again, I kind of have to do better because I'd probably get fired otherwise.)
4. On a brighter note, there are generally many nice people out there.
This is just a personal opinion that I have right now, not saying it won't change later on! It's just that I have received guidance from seniors who were under no obligation to help a struggling newbie, and such kindness sometimes came from people whom I least expected it from. My same-batch colleagues have also been very kind; for example, N voluntarily lent me her family's entire bag of BBQ tools even though we'd only known each other for a week wtf. I was secretly very moved but didn't quite know to thank her afterwards argh -_-
Maybe people are kind by nature; they enjoy being depended on, they like being helpful, and being appreciated for what they do is a cherry on top. Perhaps many of us are just very reserved and reluctant to take the initiative in fear of being rejected or embarrassed.
5. Policy-makers & administrators are impressive.
How on earth do they come up with such complex rules, regulations and procedures?
The list really goes on, and there are other things I've been meaning to update, but I'll leave them for another day haha.
--Abrupt end--