somewhat but not quite regretful
Thursday, July 12, 20128:48 PM
So today, XY and YT mentioned slightly how they kind of regretted their subject combi choice. YT said she would have preferred physics, because it was easier to study (or at least, not that much to memorise), and XY said she missed having Chinese. I understood where they were coming from, but didn't really think much about it at that time because I was preoccupied with thoughts of what to have for lunch.
But now it occured to me how decisions can take us down totally different paths, yet we'll never know how life would have been if we had taken the other road. I don't mean this to sound emo or act-cheem or dramamama, so just take this as it is okay?
It's like, we face decision-making everyday, and every choice we make comes at an opportunity cost. (Thanks, econs!) If I ate mixed rice, I couldn't have noodle house. If I drank teh bing, I couldn't drink vitasoy. Obviously in this case I could always have noodles and vitasoy the next day or even that afternoon, but this probably doesn't apply to more significant decisions. In some cases, once you lose the chance, you can never get it back again.
Subject combinations might not seem very very pivotal or like life-changing, but for us students whose academic futures are at stake, it IS pretty important. Or at least, in my opinion. We mull over it before choosing, but does thinking over it for a long time necessarily equate to a final decision that is really what we want? I spent so much time debating with my friends, with my parents, with myself, and in the end I took a combi that I'm still not certain about.
I feel like, maybe it's easy to look back and think, Oh man I should have done this instead of that. But the thing is, sometimes we KNOW the consequences of our decision even before we make it. Sometimes we've already told ourselves to be mentally prepared that this route might not be exactly what we've anticipated for. Yet most of us would still feel a twinge of something-regret? wistfulness?-as we carry on with life after. For me, maybe it's because I'm not doing well in Bio/Econs , and definitely not as well as I wanted to at the start of this year (let's not even mention Chem and Math they're hopeless). More than once I've envisioned myself being happier if I'd gone for Lit instead; but then again, what if it turned out to be the direct opposite?! Then wouldn't I feel the same regret all over again??
As cliche as this sounds, I think it's true-we always want what we can't have, and the grass is always greener on the other side. I realise that if I really wanted to, I could have transferred out when I still could. Why didn't I do it? A lack of conviction? Too cowardly? Who knows? All I can do is to make the best out of what I've chosen, and hope with all my heart that this will be enough.
Subject combinations might not seem very very pivotal or like life-changing, but for us students whose academic futures are at stake, it IS pretty important. Or at least, in my opinion. We mull over it before choosing, but does thinking over it for a long time necessarily equate to a final decision that is really what we want? I spent so much time debating with my friends, with my parents, with myself, and in the end I took a combi that I'm still not certain about.
I feel like, maybe it's easy to look back and think, Oh man I should have done this instead of that. But the thing is, sometimes we KNOW the consequences of our decision even before we make it. Sometimes we've already told ourselves to be mentally prepared that this route might not be exactly what we've anticipated for. Yet most of us would still feel a twinge of something-regret? wistfulness?-as we carry on with life after. For me, maybe it's because I'm not doing well in Bio/Econs , and definitely not as well as I wanted to at the start of this year (let's not even mention Chem and Math they're hopeless). More than once I've envisioned myself being happier if I'd gone for Lit instead; but then again, what if it turned out to be the direct opposite?! Then wouldn't I feel the same regret all over again??
As cliche as this sounds, I think it's true-we always want what we can't have, and the grass is always greener on the other side. I realise that if I really wanted to, I could have transferred out when I still could. Why didn't I do it? A lack of conviction? Too cowardly? Who knows? All I can do is to make the best out of what I've chosen, and hope with all my heart that this will be enough.