The first time I resumed blogging, it was because I had nothing better to do.

When I saw my own words forming sentences, paragraphs and even essays, I just had this really nice feeling inside, you know? Like you could say anything that came to your mind and not get interrupted, and if you made a mistake somewhere you get to backspace and then retype again. For once, I had something that was completely, utterly mine. (Okay maybe not the blogskins but AHEM that's not the point!)

Then slowly, people started talking to me in real life about what I wrote. I thought I wouldn't like it, but then knowing someone was reading your thoughts and sometimes even agreeing with them didn't make me feel bad at all. In fact, it actually intensified the nice feeling inside! It motivated me to update more frequently and everything was just alot more fun, especially when I could read other people's blogs as well. Everyone has a unique way of expressing themselves and I felt like I could know my friends even better through their blogs. There are some things you just can't say out loud in real life, whereas it would be perfectly acceptable to scream it out online.

But I guess one problem would be how I unconsciously start to censor myself these days. I worry about what the occasional visitor would think of me after they've read my posts, whether they would see me as obnoxious, superficial, silly, self-centered etc, because of something I've written. I get really scared of sending off the wrong vibes and offending friends unintentionally. I also start wondering if my entries are entertaining enough, if people actually read my blog, and then I feel ashamed because it shouldn't matter at all.

Is this what blogging is supposed to be like?

The first time I resumed blogging, it was because I had nothing better to do.

When I saw my own words forming sentences, paragraphs and even essays, I just had this really nice feeling inside, you know? Like you could say anything that came to your mind and not get interrupted, and if you made a mistake somewhere you get to backspace and then retype again. For once, I had something that was completely, utterly mine. (Okay maybe not the blogskins but AHEM that's not the point!)

Then slowly, people started talking to me in real life about what I wrote. I thought I wouldn't like it, but then knowing someone was reading your thoughts and sometimes even agreeing with them didn't make me feel bad at all. In fact, it actually intensified the nice feeling inside! It motivated me to update more frequently and everything was just alot more fun, especially when I could read other people's blogs as well. Everyone has a unique way of expressing themselves and I felt like I could know my friends even better through their blogs. There are some things you just can't say out loud in real life, whereas it would be perfectly acceptable to scream it out online.

But I guess one problem would be how I unconsciously start to censor myself these days. I worry about what the occasional visitor would think of me after they've read my posts, whether they would see me as obnoxious, superficial, silly, self-centered etc, because of something I've written. I get really scared of sending off the wrong vibes and offending friends unintentionally. I also start wondering if my entries are entertaining enough, if people actually read my blog, and then I feel ashamed because it shouldn't matter at all.

Is this what blogging is supposed to be like?

My name is Felicia and my dearest ambition is to bounce on clouds while eating Twix.

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